What a mess of a match we have in store as the two coaches most worthy of induction to a loony bin pitch up to see whose side can play the worst. Scott Johnson has unbelievably made a complete u-turn and recalled Kelly Brown as openside and captain, while Philippe Saint-Andre has sacked half his team and thrown his biggest lump on the blindside. It’s starting to look like any old punter on the street could do a better job of selecting that these two jokers.
This week’s unceremonious dumping award goes to Chris Fusaro, who departs as quickly as he arrived, not even afforded a spot on the bench with three out-of-position players in the back row preferred. Ryan Wilson, who offers no point of difference whatsoever, is instead the reserve loose forward. Heaven knows what happens if Brown goes off early, though Scotland did finish the game with a trio of Beattie, Denton, and Wilson against Italy.
The backs are unsurprisingly unchanged, though many were clamouring for Greig Laidlaw to be replaced by Chris Cusiter. One supposes being demoted to vice-captain is enough for one week, though hopefully that won’t deter him from upping his game. Hopefully with his club future now sorted he will have the mind to provide quicker service for his improving midfield.
France are in tatters. Dimitri Szarzewski, Yannick Nyanga, and Wesley Fofana are out injured. Jean-Marc Doussain has been benched, while Wenceslas Lauret and Hugo Bonneval have been thrown out completely along with powerhouse no8 Louis Picamoles, who pays the price for mocking Alain Rolland in Cardiff. Yannick Forestier is gone from the bench with Rabah Slimani back from suspension and Vincent Debaty preferred to cover loosehead prop.
Brice Mach starts for the first time at hooker, with an utterly bewildering back row selected behind him. Giant lock Sébastien Vaha’amahina is picked at no6, a position he has started exactly twice in his professional career, both times against lowly Italian club Rovigo in the Challenge Cup. How Virgile Bruni was overlooked is anyone’s guess. Damien Chouly comes in at no8, though surely Gillian Galan would have been the best option, and out of left field comes Alexandre Lapandry, who leapfrogs a host of better players to line up at no7 to win his first cap in nearly two years.
The comedy doesn’t end there, as Maxime Mermoz replaces Fofana at centre. Just rewards indeed for Gaël Fickou, the most promising centre in Europe and a match-winner against England. Even Remi Lamerat would have been a more inspired selection than Mermoz. Meanwhile two more Maxime’s, Machenaud and Médard, come in at scrumhalf and left wing respectively.
What does it all mean? Chaos. France are still well capable of smashing this Scottish side, especially in the scrum, but who knows what version will show up. Scotland will be boosted with the return of Brown and keen to restore credibility at home, but that’s far from a guarantee that they’ll play well. With the pitch in terrible condition this could be an error-ridden match best watched on fast-forward. At the end France should have enough to win, albeit narrowly by around 5 points.
SCOTLAND vs FRANCE
Saturday, March 8, 17:00 GMT, Edinburgh
Referee: Chris Pollock (NZRU)
Assistants: George Clancy (IRFU) & J.P. Doyle (RFU)
TMO: Gareth Simmonds (WRU)
